Demons

How can I describe depression?



A dead end;
a sky-high wall of grey bricks
blocking me in?
A maze of thorns, from which
there is no way out?
A still pool of icy water
that chills me to my core?
An endless ocean of despair;
waves churning me over and over,
until I no longer have the will to swim?
A giant boulder crushing my chest,
causing me to cry out in agony repeatedly?


I can come up with any number of metaphors for this thing we call "depression".

But I think by far the most effective way to look at it is to imagine it as a living being. Some sort of creature. A monster, or demon.


This is the method put forward by a certain writer called Tsultrim Allione, who draws her ideas from a traditional Tibetan practice called "Chod", which enables us to reconnect with the parts of ourselves that we have disowned, suppressed or struggled with, by personifying them, talking to them and ultimately feeding them with whatever feeling they require.
Strange as it may sound, this is a practice that I intend to try out for myself. Because in a way it makes sense. Rather than running away from our problems, we should engage with them. Not in a confrontational way, though. In a compassionate, nurturing way.
 In her book "Feeding your Demons", Tsultrim Allione makes reference to the myth of Heracles and the Hydra. He tried to defeat the hideous creature by cutting off its heads, which only resulted in it growing more. And the same thing happens with any emotional issues we may be struggling with, like depression, anxiety, anger, etc. The more we do battle with them, the stronger and more destructive they become.

And that is why I, once and for all, have decided to try the Chod practice tonight. I have been fighting and losing battle for too long. It's draining all my energy, both physically and mentally. I really must try a different tactic.

So, I will make sure I write down everything that happens and post it on here, since I suppose if it helps me, then maybe it can do the same for others.

Watch this space...